Impact of Words

It was just a few words!

Ponder over the following examples where *very* few words unlocked the greatness of three great people.

= The first:

Imam Ishaaq Ibn Raahawayh once said during a study circle of Hadith,
“من ينشط منكم لجمع الصحيح؟”
“Whom here is willing to take it upon himself to compile for us the authentic Hadith?”
Imam Al-Bukhari was present and said, “His words fell onto my heart”
Imagine that! It was just those words which sparked off the most beneficial Hadith project in History!
= The second:
Imam Ash-Shafi’i was most interested in poetry in the earlier parts of his life. One scholar heard him speak poetry and so he asked him, “أين أنت من الفِقه؟”

“Why don’t you focus on the study of Fiqh (jurisprudence) instead?”
This had a profound effect on Imam Ash-Shaafi’i and because of these words, he completely changed the course of his study and turned to the study of Hadith and Fiqh till he became an Imam. All of this was because of one simple encounter with a wise well-wisher.
= The third:
Have you heard of Imam Adh-Dhahabi? His handwriting was once spotted by Imam Al-Barzaali so he said to Adh-Dhahabi, “إنَّ خطك هذا يشبه خط المُحدِّثين” 

“Your handwriting resembles the handwriting of the scholars of Hadith” 

Imam Adh-Dhahabi said, 

فحبَّب الله لي علم الحديث
“After hearing that, Allah placed the love of Hadith in my heart!”
You have no idea of the potential influence which your words may have on your children, students, family members or friends, even if your words are few!
Coupled with your sincerity and wisely tailored words of encouragement, plant the seed of inspiration within their hearts and leave it to grow. This person may develop to become the next scholar, a ground-breaking caller to Islam, the mother of the next revivalist or the founder of a revolutionary project for the Ummah.
You may end up forgetting all about this seed. But this reformed individual may never forget. More importantly, Allah will never forget.

Debate of Abdullah Ibn Abbas رضي الله عنه with the Khawaarij

​The great debate of Ibn ‘Abbas -radiAllaah anhu- with the Khawaarij

Translated By; Abbas Abu Yahya

When the Hurooreeyah rebelled, they isolated themselves in a place. There were 6000 of them and they were united in rebelling against ‘Alee. Continuously people would come to ‘Alee and say: O Ameer ul-Mu’mineen! Verily these people are rebelling against you.

He said: ‘Leave them, verily I will not fight them until they fight me and [they will fight me] that’s what they will do.’

So when it came to that day, I came to ‘Alee before the Zuhr prayer and I said to him: ‘O Ameer ul-Mu’mineen! Delay the prayer until it is cooler perhaps I will speak to these people.

He said: ‘Verily, I fear for you.’

I said: ‘Never! I used to be known as a man of good manners, I never harmed anyone.’

He gave me permission to go. So, I put on a very nice garment, the best of what one could get from Yemen and I combed my hair. Then, I visited them at midday whilst they were eating.

I had entered upon a people, the likes of whom I had never seen with regards to their exertion in worship. Their foreheads were wounded due to Sujood (prostration) and their hands had become rough like camels’ feet, wearing recently washed, untidy shirts with very high, raised clothing with tired and worn out faces [due to not caring for themselves].

So, I gave salaams to them and they said, ‘Welcome O Son of Abbas! And what is this cloak you are wearing?’

I said, ‘what deficiency do you see from me? Indeed, I saw the Messenger of Allaah -sallAllaahu alayhi wa sallam- dressed in the best of what you can find in Yemeni clothing, then I recited this verse

<<Say, who has forbidden the adornment given by Allaah, which He has produced for His slaves, and the good things He has provided>>[1]

Then they said, ‘What has brought you here?’

I said to them, ‘I have come to you from amongst the Companions of the Prophet -sallAllaahu alayhi wa sallam- the Muhaajiroon and the Ansaar and from the son of the uncle of the Prophet -sallAllaahu alayhi wa sallam- (‘Alee), who is his son-in-law – and upon them descended the Qur’aan; and they are more knowledgeable about it than you and there is not one of them amongst you. I have come to convey to you what they say, and to convey to them, what you say.

A group amongst them said, ‘Do not debate with the Quraysh because verily Allaah, Azza wa Jaal, says

<<Nay! But they are a quarrelsome people>>[2],’

Then a group of them turned towards me and two or three of them said: ‘Verily, we will speak to him.’

So I said, ‘come forward, what is the grudge you have against the Companions of the Messenger of Allaah – and the son of his uncle (‘Alee).’

They said ‘three points’.

I said, ‘And what are they?’

They said: ‘Then one of the points is that he (‘Alee) had men judge in a matter of Allaah whilst Allaah said

<<The judgment is for none but Allaah>>[3]

What have men got to do with the Hukm?’

I said, ‘This is one point.’

They said, ‘As for the second point; then he fought and he did not take captives nor did he take the war booty, if they were Kuffaar, then their captives are permissible for us and if they were believers then their captives are not permissible to take nor was it allowed to fight them.’

I said, ‘This is the second point, and what is the third point?’ Or he said something similar.

They said: ‘He should remove the title of Ameer ul-Mu’mineen and if he is not the Ameer ul-Mu’mineen then he is the Ameer ul-Kaafireen.’

I said, ‘Do you have any points other than this?’

They said: ‘This is sufficient for us.’

I said to them: ‘Do you understand, that if I read to you from the Book of Allaah, Jalla wa thanaa’ahu, and from the Sunnah of His Prophet – SallAllaahu alayhi wa sallam – that which refutes what you say; will you return (back)?’

They said: ‘Yes.’

I said: “As for your statement That ‘Alee had men judge in a matter that was for Allaah; then I will read to you from the Book of Allaah, where Allaah has delegated His Hukm to men regarding the eighth of a quarter of a dirham. Allaah, Tabaraka wa Ta’aala, commanded the people to judge in this matter.

Do you not understand the saying of Allaah, Tabaraka wa Ta’aala:

<<O you who believe, do not kill the game while you are in a state of ihram, and whosoever of you kills it intentionally, then the penalty is an offering equivalent to the one he killed, as adjudged by two just men among you.>>[4]

And it is from the Hukm of Allaah that He delegated men to judge in this matter, if Allaah willed, He could have judged in this matter, but He allowed men to judge.

I ask you, for the sake of Allaah! Are men judging in reconciling in disputes and in preventing bloodshed or judging regarding hunting a rabbit better?”

They said: ‘Of course, this is better.’

‘And regarding a woman and her husband:

<< If you fear a breach between the husband and wife, appoint two arbitrators, one from his family and the other from hers >>[5]

Is not men judging in reconciling disputes and in the prevention of bloodshed better than men judging regarding the private parts of a woman?

Have we finished with this point?’

They said, ‘Yes.’

I said: ‘As for your statement, He fought but did not take captives and did not take war booty, then would you take your mother, Aa’ishah, as a captive, making her permissible for yourselves for that which you make permissible from other than her whilst she is your mother? If you say: “We make Halaal from her that which we make Halaal from other than her,” then you have made/committed Kufr. And if you say that, “she is not our mother,” then you have also made Kufr: <<The Prophet is closer to the believers than their own selves, and his wives are their mothers >>[6] and so you are between the two ill judgments. So, which of them do you want to take?

Have we finished with this point?’

They said: ‘Yes.’

‘As for ‘Alee removing the title of Ameer ul-Mu’mineen, then I will give you something that will please you: Verily, the Prophet of Allaah – made an agreement/contract with the Mushrikeen on the Day of Hudaybeeyah, and the Prophet -sallAllaahu alayhi wa sallam- said to ‘Alee: “Write, O ‘Alee! This is what Muhammad, the Messenger of Allaah, -sallAllaahu alayhi wa sallam- agrees with.”

They, the Mushrikeen, said, “If we knew you to be the Messenger of Allaah, we would not have fought you.” So, the Messenger of Allaah -sallAllaahu alayhi wa sallam- said: ‘Erase it, O ‘Alee! O Allaah, Indeed You know that I am the Messenger of Allaah, erase it O ‘Alee! And write this, “This is what Muhammad ibn Abdullaah -sallAllaahu alayhi wa sallam- makes an agreement/contract upon.”’

I swear by Allaah, that the Messenger of Allaah -sallAllaahu alayhi wa sallam- is better than ‘Alee and even he erased his own name and erasing his name does not erase his Prophet hood.

Have we finished with this point?’

They said: ‘Yes.’

‘2000 of them came back while the rest of them rebelled and fought, based upon their misguidance, and the Muhaajiroon and Ansaar fought them.[7]

The Takreej for this narration:

Narrated by ad-Darmi in his ‘Sunnan’ (1/68-69) & by Bahshal in ‘Tareekh Wasit’ this narration is reported on the authority of ‘Amr bin Salma. Authenticated by al-Albani.

There are other narrations of this story. It has been narrated by Abdullaah bin Ahmad in ‘Zawaid az-Zuhud’ (p.428) & by Abu Na’eem in ‘Hileeyat al-Awwleeyah’ (4/380-381). Also by Tabraani in ‘Kabeer’ (9/125-126), by AbdurRazaq in ‘al-Mussannaf’ (5409). Al-Haythamee narrated it in ‘Mua’jam az-Zawaid’ (1/181).

As for the narration of AbdurRazaq & Tabraani which has been authenticated by al-Haythamee in ‘mua’jam az-Zawaid’ (1/181).

The narration of Abu Na’eem in ‘al-Hileeyah’ was reported on the authority of Abu Za’raa.

This story has many other narrations, in ‘al-Kabeer’ and some of them were authenticated by al-Haythamee.

Taken from ‘Silsilah as-Saheehah’ (5/12-13), & ‘Moonazaraat ‘aimmat as-Salaf’ p.89-91

[1] Soorah Al-A’raf :32
[2] Soorah az-Zukhruf :58
[3] Soorah an-Anaam : 57 and Soorah Yusuf : 40 & 67
[4] Soorah al-Ma’idah : 95
[5] Soorah an-Nisa : 35
[6] Soorah al-Ahzab : 6
[7] Narrated by Abdur-Razzaq in his book ‘al-Musannaf’(18678), Ahmad (1/243), al-Haakim (2/150-152), Ibn Abdul Barr in his Jama’ Bayaan Uloom (2/962-964/ 1834) and others.

Reality of Darbars/Shrines/Astaans.

From the greatest calamities facing this ummah are the shrines or astaans of so called “holy-men” – structures built over the graves where people go to visit and “make duaa”

Building over the graves and raising them into structures is impermissible in Islam and Ali (may Allah be pleased with him) was sent on a specific mission by the messenger (salAllahu alayhi wa sallam) to level and destroy any raised grave –

Abu’l-Hayaaj al-Asadi said: ‘Ali ibn Abi Taalib said to me: “Shall I not send you on the same mission as the Messenger of Allaah (salAllahu alayhi wa sallam) sent me? Do not leave any statue without erasing it, and do not leave any raised grave without leveling it.” (Muslim)

Likewise Jaabir said: The Messenger of Allaah (salAllahu alayhi wa sallam) forbade plastering over graves, sitting on them and erecting structures over them. (Muslim)

Why this prohibition in Islam?

● It is a massive avenue to shirk – the one who built the shrine might say he is doing it to remember the pious man and honour his teachings BUT the ignorant masses will see veneration and begin to actually worship the grave. I have seen with my own eyes people prostrating to the grave, kissing the grave, making duaa to the grave; and when they leave they don’t turn their back on the grave – they walk out backwards! Shirk is the greatest sin and the person who dies committing it will never be forgiven – so in building these shrines the people are giving one another a direct ticket to the fire.

● People say we are going to the shrine to make duaa FOR the man and not TO him. If that is the case, why do you make a special journey to his shrine, why can’t you make duaa for him from the comfort of your own home? Would our attitude be the same if a person went to a church to make duaa? In reality the people go to these shrines and take the inhabitant of the grave as an intermediary between themselves and Allah – this is exactly what the pagan Quraysh did and it is major shirk.

● We see people trying to please the inhabitant of the grave because they think it will please Allah – so we see them slaughtering over the grave, making tawaf around the grave, prostrating to the grave, kissing it and crying whilst making duaa directly to the person – again this is major shirk.

● It is an impersonation of those who came before who are cursed by Allah – the messenger (salAllahu alayhi wa sallam) said – “When a righteous man died among them, they would build a place of worship over his grave and put those images in it. They are the most evil of mankind before Allah.” (Bukhari and Muslim)

● How do you know that this person was a holy-man? Only Allah knows what the hearts conceal. In fact many of these “holy men” call to shirk and innovation so they are under a serious threat of a mighty punishment from Allah – perhaps the people are making duaa to them yet they are screaming in their grave in pain. Perhaps the people ask them for benefit but they cannot even benefit themselves?

● They are one of the sources of magic – countless taweez and amulets originate from these places. I remember one shrine used to send taweez through the post!

● We find all sorts of other evils going on at these shrines. Drug abuse and prostitution are common and theft is rife. I have personally been to Data Darbar in Lahore in Pakistan and it is a thriving mini-city based around shirk and innovations.

There is much more that can be said on this topic but the bottom line is this:

Darbars/shrines/astaans have NO PLACE in Islam. They are avenues to shirk and many other sins. They are places that are beloved to shaytan and NOT to Allah. They cause misguidance and destruction.

What I know about ISIS (Khawarij or Mujahideen) ?

We must categorically state that this misguided, astray group, or those like them, do not represent Islam or the Muslims in the least.

A beard does not prove a person is on the straight path. Nor does a black flag. In fact what we see is that from it’s evil birth, it has caused nothing but loss to the muslims.

When the Syrians came together as one army and were defeating Bashar Al Asad, the enemies of Islam feared a free Syria so they needed a way to intervene and keep Bashar in power. However they had to do this undercover because they couldn’t be seen to be supporting an oppressive leader who was clearly unwanted by his people.

So what did they do? They fuelled the rise of these shayateen ISIS – supplied them weapons and gave them mass media coverage. These dogs of the fire said they will kill the hypocrites – i.e. Muslims BEFORE they fight Bashar Al Asad.

Wonderful. Now we have the Syrians fighting Bashar in front AND ISIS from behind. Both armies of the shaytaan. Both fuelled and supported by the enemies of Allah.

Leaked documents show that ISIS was purposefully fuelled and created. It’s a manufactured disease. A cancer to this ummah.

From the time of the companions these dogs have been causing fitna, making takfeer of the muslims, spilling their blood, fighting against Islam.

Why do we speak so harshly against them with such harsh words? Because the messenger salAllahu alayhi wa sallam HIMSELF spoke like this about them. He called them the dogs of the hellfire. He said they are the worst people killed under the sun. He told us they recite a lot of Qura’an and they pray alot but it will never benefit them.

And now we have our brothers and sisters ignorantly defending these fools because they think they are mujahideen. Wake up! They are the army of shaytaan not the army of Allah. They are a manufactured enemy of the muslims to forward the gains and to allow the looting and killing in the muslim lands to continue.

For any balanced person reading this – ISIS don’t represent me and they don’t represent you. But remaining silent isn’t enough because the messenger spoke out against them so we should too.

Here are some statements of the Salafi Scholars against ISIS [The Khawaarij of Syria and Iraq]

Shaikh Muhammad Bin Haadi

http://t.co/1nGHZTCllU

ISIS – not in my name and not in yours.

Advice to those afflicted by Waswaas (whisperings) of Shaytaan

A question asked to Shaykh Sulaymaan bin Saleemullaah ar-Ruhaylee:

A man has been afflicted by Waswaas Qahree (compulsive whisperings). So what is your advice? May Allaah preserve you.

It is a way from the ways of Iblees (Shaytaan). And the principle regarding Waswaas is that it is a proof for the righteousness of the servant and the soundness of the heart. For verily, when Shaytaan sees that the servant is righteous and that he (Shaytaan) is not able to defeat him by way of actions, he starts whispering to him. This is why when this (affair of Waswaas) was mentioned to the Prophet -sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam– he said: “All praise is due to Allaah Who has reduced the plot of Shaytaan to al-Waswasah (whispering).

” He (Shaytaan) wasn’t able to overcome us, so he came to us with Waswaas. And he (the Prophet) said: “That is a clear sign of faith.” This is the essence of Waswaas. Meaning: if Waswaas takes place, then that is a proof for this.

But this doesn’t mean that we praise those who are afflicted by Waswaas. For verily, answering to Waswaas is evil. It is obligatory to avoid and stay away from it. And those who are afflicted by Waswaas are of two categories.

The first category: that the Waswaas does not overpower him. Rather it comes to him and goes away. This is cured through making a lot of isti’aadhah (seeking refuge with Allaah). He seeks refuge with Allaah from it and he spits to his left side. And he recites the Qur’aan and the Ahaadeeth.

The second category: that the Waswaas is so much that it overpowers him. And this cannot be cured by any action, because the more actions he does, the more his Waswaas increases. Even if he recites Qur’aan, his Waswaas increases! So how is it cured? The Fuqahaa’ say that it is cured by completely turning away from it. What does this mean?

It means that you do not perform anything because of it or leave off anything because of it. Even if it comes to you, consider it a crazy person speaking from behind you, while you are certain that he does not harm you. And do not perform anything because of it or leave off anything because of it.

Some people, when Waswaas comes to them, they open the Qur’aan to recite it. Then Iblees becomes (even more) eager in (overpowering) him, so he starts whispering to him with regards to the Qur’aan. He gets up and prays, so he (Shaytaan) whispers to him in his prayer.

And do not leave off anything because of it! If you are reading the Qur’aan and Shaytaan comes to you whispering, then do NOT leave off reciting the Qur’aan, rather continue! Leave it whenever YOU want to leave it. As for leaving it because of the Waswaas, then don’t. If you do this and you are patient… KNOW that this issue requires patience, because Iblees comes to the person who is afflicted with Waswaas in the form of an advisor, someone who has pity.

In the prayer (Shaytaan says): “This is the prayer! And the prayer is the connection between the servant and his Lord! And if your prayer is nullified, then what remains for you? Beware! Leave (the prayer) and go perform Wudoo!” (He does this) in order to corrupt his prayer. And he is not an advisor, rather he is Iblees! So this requires patience. Be patient!

If Waswaas comes to you in Wudoo, then perform your Wudoo and leave. If Iblees then comes to you and says: “There remains something!” Then say: “There remains nothing.” Do not pay attention to him! And go pray! By Allaah, it will not harm you! By Allaah, it will not harm you. You are reciting the Qur’aan and Iblees comes to you whispering?

Continue! And leave him (Iblees)! Continue reciting! By Allaah, it will not harm you! In fact, you will be rewarded! Because you are performing Jihaad against Iblees. Then Iblees will becomes hopeless of you and leave this door (of Waswaas), and he will start looking for another door.

So, O brothers, the likes of this brother about whom it is said that he has Waswaas Qahree, meaning: the Waswaas overpowers him, the ONLY cure for him is completely turning away. And the meaning of completely turning away, is that he has CERTAINTY that it does not harm him, and that Allaah is Ever-Merciful, and that it is not possible that Allaah punishes his servants because of this, and that this isn’t from the religion! Allaah says:

“And He has not laid upon you in religion any hardship…” (22:78) How can it be from the religion that a person has to perform Wudoo seventy times?! [unclear] So you should know this and be certain of it, and that’s it! You do what the people do, and you turn away. And you continue in your act and you don’t leave it because of Waswaas. And do not perform anything because of Waswaas. By Allaah, with the permission of Allaah he will be cured. And we know this by experience.

By Allaah, O brothers. A man came to me and Shaytaan used to always whisper to him with regards to his wife, that he is divorcing her. And if he goes with her to her family, and he says to her: “Go to your family,” then Iblees comes to him and says: “You just divorced her.”

Sometimes he used to call me at two o’clock at night and three o’clock at night and say: “O Shaykh, right now she is next to me in bed, is she my wife or have I divorced her?” In the beginning we said to him: “Keep yourself busy with the remembrance of Allaah, until you leave this affair.” So he started keeping himself busy with the remembrance of Allaah, and then Iblees started coming to him; whenever he said “Subhaanallaah”, then Iblees said: “No! You are indirectly saying you have divorced her.” And whenever he said “Allaahu akbar”, then Iblees said: “You are indirectly saying you have divorced her! And this is a matter of honor!” When we saw that the affair became severe, we advised him to turn away (from this Waswaas).

Then he used to turn away for a while and then return (to his state of Waswaas). He sometimes came to my house, and I used to throw him out of my house. Because as long as he knows that there is someone who can give him comfort, then he will continue with his Waswaas. But we gave him the principle. After a while, and to Allaah belongs all praise and blessing, his life became stable and this Waswaas was completely gone from him, because he was firm upon this principle.

And I know many people, one of them had Waswaas for more than twenty years! And he came to us, so we advised him and we were patient with him for a while, and then Allaah cured through this way. So my advice to the brother is that he acts upon what I have mentioned, and Allaah knows best.

Why did the Four Imams differ?

The point of this entire speech is that one of the reasons for the differing of the Four Imams, Abū Ḥanīfah, Mālik, al-Shāfi’ī, and Ahmad, is, as I have told you, that the Sunnah was spread about due to the spreading about of those who bore it, the Companions and the tābi‘ūn.

Then came the role of the Four Imams mentioned here.
The first one of them, as you know, is Abū Ḥanīfah (may Allah have mercy on him). He died in the year 150 AH, so he is considered one of the ṣighār (junior) tābi‘ūn. Abū Ḥanīfah (may Allah have mercy on him) specialized in fiqh (Islamic jurisprudence) and never left al-Kūfah (Kufa in Iraq) except to perform ḥajj or ‘umrah.
Thus, he had a small inventory of ḥadīth.

Following him was Imam Mālik. He would later reside in the land of hijrah, Madinah. As is also the case today, Madinah, being an attraction for pilgrims of the ḥajj and ‘umrah, has been home to many scholars. As a result, Imam Mālik likewise did not travel to compile ḥadīth.
He did however, retain more ḥadīth than Abū Ḥanīfah.

Then came the third imam, Imam al-Shāfi’ī (may Allah have mercy on him). He resided in Baghdad, which was the capital of the Abbasid caliphate, as you know. It was also a resort for various scholars and was blessed with as much knowledge and Sunnah as Allah willed.

He left Baghdad for Egypt, and as a result, gained new material for knowledge − the knowledge of ḥadīth, in particular. So, he surpassed the first two imams, Imam Abū Ḥanīfah and Imam Mālik, because he spent a significant part of his life in Baghdad in addition to performing ḥajj and ‘umrah and spending the later part of his life in Egypt. So he was able to gather ḥadīths that both of the earlier imams were not.

The fourth imam, Aḥmad ibn Ḥanbal, came and surpassed not only the first three imams but the masses of ḥadīth scholars due to his comprehensive knowledge of the Sunnah. He retained more of the Sunnah and had more knowledge in ḥadīth than most ḥadīth scholars.

Owing to this, scholars like Abū Ḥanīfah would receive questions and refer back to whatever of the Qur’ān and ḥadīth of the Messenger of Allah (ṣallá’llāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) were available to them and would give a fatwá (an Islamic verdict) according to that. If nothing was available, one would resort to ijtihād (independent reasoning based on the rulings of the Quran and Sunnah).

Ijtihād is necessary, as the Prophet (ṣallá’llāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said: “When a judge gives a decision, having tried his best to decide correctly and is right, there are two rewards for him; and if he gave a judgment after having tried his best (to arrive at a correct decision) but erred, there is one reward for him.” [Translation: Siddiqui] But, as you understand from this ḥadīth, ijtihād is susceptible to being right or wrong, so one could ask other imams the same question and receive an answer based on the ḥadīth available to that imam, ḥadīth which may not have been available to another imam who rendered his fatwá based on ijtihād.

Knowing this historical fact in relation to the compilation of ḥadīth should remove any confusion in our minds about the differing of the imams. Shaykh Muhammad Nassir Adeen Al-Albaani in Al-Albaani’s Encyclopedia of Manhaj

Scientific Facts about the Serious Harmful Effects of Pornography.

I came across the following article recently and thought I must share it for public benefit. As we are all aware that porn is easily available and many people are addicted to it, reading the following article may help understand the dangers of this phenomenon. I hold the multi billion dollar global porn industry directly responsible for indirectly instigating rape, incest and child abuse. Everyone knows about terrorists blowing up people physically but no one talks about the terrorists who blow up minds and societies. These social terrorists are media moguls and porn makers. Pornography can definitely destroy lives and marriages. The following article will explain how porn kills societies.(my words end here and the article begins below):
For a lot of people who say porn is normal and harmless, they tend to celebrate porn as something that allows users to healthily “explore their sexuality” or simply be “open-minded”.
What people of this opinion don’t understand is that porn can not only ruin a person’s ability to maintain a healthy sexual relationship, but that pornography is highly addictive and literally rewires the brain. By viewing different sexual tastes through porn, users can actually start to erode their own sexual preferences and disorder their sexual arousal template (what they find sexy and are aroused by).
Let us explain by dropping some knowledge from a guy that knows a lot about the brain and how porn can affect it.
Dr. Norman Doidge is world renowned psychiatrist, psychoanalyst, and researcher.. He works at the University of Toronto’s Department of Psychiatry and is also on the Research Faculty at Columbia University’s Center for Psychoanalytic Training and Research in New York. This guy knows his stuff. Along with being the author of two New York Times Bestsellers, Dr. Doidge has done extensive research on the effects that porn has on the brain.
The following quote from Dr. Doidge’s best selling book, The Brain That Changes Itself, is one that illustrates perfectly how porn affects the brain:
“Sexual tastes are molded by an individuals experiences and their culture. These tastes are acquired and then wired into the brain. We are unable to distinguish our ‘second nature’ from our ‘original nature’ because our neuroplastic brains, once rewired, develop a new nature every bit as biological as our original.”
So what exactly does that mean?
It means that as human beings we have neuroplastic brains, meaning our brains are malleable, changeable, and can be conditioned. Porn just so happens to be the perfect recipe to condition our brains for many reasons – porn is visual, it is stimulating, and it releases chemicals in our brain that build pathways to return back to it. Dr. Donald Hilton, who is another world renowned psychologist and researcher on the harmful effects of porn on the brain, said the following in his published study titled, Pornography addiction – a supranormal stimulus considered in the context of neuroplasticity:
“Pornography is the perfect laboratory for this kind of novel learning fused with a powerful pleasure incentive drive. The focused searching and clicking, looking for the perfect masturbatory subject, is an exercise in neuroplastic learning.”
Basically, porn is highly addicting and highly exciting to our brains. For this very reason, porn poses a serious threat to how our brains function normally. If the porn that is being viewed is the stuff that contains violence, fetishes, rape, humiliation, or any of the other infinite categories of deviant porn out there, these things actually start to become what the user thinks is attractive, sexy, and desirable.
Not cool.
So now knowing all the science behind our changeable brains, let’s go back to the original question: Can porn affect your sexual tastes?
The short answer?
Of course.
We recently got an email from one girl who was addicted to porn since the age of 12. Now married, she shared with us how her years of porn use still deeply affects her ability to have a good sex life with her loving husband and how she still deals with the effects of years of watching degrading and humiliating porn:
I know men have issues with erectile dysfunction because of porn; they can’t get an erection because porn has distorted their ability to become aroused. Well, turns out it’s the same for women. Nothing my husband can do, is willing to do, can arouse me. And it’s not like he’s only willing to try a handful of mundane things. He is not, however, willing to mistreat me, call me names, degrade me, or use bondage of any sort – things that we feel have no business in the bed of equal partners, man and wife. But it’s these things to which I tied my arousal during my addiction. I don’t want any of these things in our bedroom but without them… no go. Yes, a woman’s inability to become aroused doesn’t prevent sex from happening like a man’s inability, but my lack of arousal means an experience which should be beautiful and pleasurable is miserable and incredibly painful. I still have a sexual appetite. I’m still sexually attracted to my husband. But I’m not sexually aroused and it’s not because he’s some ugly potato, it’s because of the lingering effects of my addiction. I deny him something that is an important part of our marriage, and my own sexual appetite is perpetually frustrated, I’m continuously unsatisfied, because of my own stupid actions years ago.
See, if a porn user is frequently viewing porn that is violent, fetishistic, degrading, or deviant, they are literally conditioning their plastic brain to be aroused by that type of behavior; even if it is showing things that they originally thought to be disgusting or wrong. And because porn is an escalating addiction, users inevitably end up viewing deviant porn just because they need to watch more hardcore stuff to get the same rush they got in the beginning. In an effort to get that dopamine rush in the brain that they have conditioned themselves to crave, this is when users start going to the deep, dark corners of the internet; it’s the only stuff that is extreme enough. Imagine a user’s alarm when they first see these types of deviant porn, and then begin to specifically search it out even though they feel that it is morally wrong. As time passes, the user’s sexual arousal template starts to change and they begin to associate sexual pleasure with these deviant sexual tastes.
If we believe the research that science is telling us about our neuroplastic brains and how they can be conditioned through experiences, we can see that the brain can be manipulated into wanting something that the user didn’t want before. And that is when things get very confusing and very harmful to the user’s sexual and emotional health.
It is clear that the effects of porn on sexual health become increasingly harmful the longer one looks at porn. So regardless of people’s opinions, the facts remain the same: porn is harmful and research is proving it.
What YOU Can Do
If you’re not cool with porn being viewed as simply normal and harmless, SHARE this article to help spread the scientific facts about the serious harmful effects of pornography.